It never ends
by kousi
Summary: Without another word, she just climbed in the limo, not looking once at the person who was surely sitting on the other end of the vehicle. Her hands started to sweat; she had sworn this person off her life.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I decided to start another multi-chapter fiction, because my other multi-chapter story "Lost without you" has reached its end… if you'd like to, go check it out. :) anyway, this fic is AU and it's loosely based on a book that I've once read. The characters just sounded so much like CB that I couldn't resist to write this. I would love to know if you like it and if you want me to continue. So please, after you read this tell me your thoughts.

Thanks to my lovely Jaz who looked through this story. Without her I'm not sure if I would have published this story...so thanks a lot, sweetie! :)

xoxoxo

She descended her private jet, no makeup, sunglasses on and her hair hidden under a foulard, so nobody would recognize her.

It was already evening, a chilly wind softly hitting her face. She had missed New York, her home.

The airport was empty; she had wanted it that way, but the fear that he might be here lingered in the pit of her stomach.

She waited patiently until her luggage was taken out of the jet, when she heard a squeaky sound from behind her. She spun around; a black limo that she knew too well caught her eye.

Her breath hitched in her throat and she had difficulties to exhale properly.

She had expected this, but it still surprised her that he actually was here, because she hadn't told anyone she was coming. Money can do anything, she thought.

The limo halted and she felt the urge to sprint away, but she had nowhere to go.

Dead end.

An unfamiliar driver stepped out of the limo and opened the door for her, smiling at her politely while doing so. She forced herself to smile back, she was a reputable woman.

"Thank you, but there's someone who's coming to pick me up." She said, but it was a lie. She had planned to call a cab after she landed. She didn't want to climb in there and face him.

The driver didn't seem to catch on though and still held the door open for her.

She watched the men bringing her luggage to the limo and putting it in the trunk. She shook her head. Unbelievable. Of course, he would have planned all of this. She knew there was no way out of this situation.

Without another word, she just climbed in the limo, not looking once at the person who was surely sitting on the other end of the vehicle. Her hands started to sweat; she had sworn this person off her life.

The limo took off and their gazes still didn't meet, she briefly glanced at him through her sunglasses and could feel his gaze roaming over her whole body.

"Had fun on your little trip, my dear?" He finally said- his voice raw with unspoken emotions.

She pursed her lips, resisting a spiteful answer. No answer might do as well.

"How did you know I was coming?" She asked back, her gaze on her folded hands resting in her lap.

He chuckled.

"You like to think that I don't know you, but I do." He answered. "It's Eleanor, your mother, we're speaking of. I knew you'd come to visit her grave sooner or later."

At the mention of her mother's name, she felt a painful sting in her heart. Her eyes moistened just for a second. She still couldn't forgive herself that she hadn't been there when she died.

She took a deep breath to calm herself down.

"I'm glad to know that you don't think I came back for you." She said, avoiding the heart-wrenching topic.

He smirked at the sound of her words, but it dropped instantly and his expression hardened.

"I have to say I was a bit surprised when I heard you wouldn't come to her funeral, you're her only child; it's the least a daughter could do." He told her and she dug her fingernails into the seat.

Low blow.

He was being heartless and she didn't know why she had agreed to marry this person in the first place. She had known him from all the placards and magazines and he had always seemed like the perfect man.

Charles Bass- head of Bass Industries, one of the most successful people in New York.

She had dreamed about him every night. She had loved his caramel brown eyes and his lips that were always curled into a little smirk in every magazine she had seen, but now when she looked at him, she felt nothing else but hatred towards this person.

When her mother had come to her and told her that Charles Bass had asked for her hand, ecstasy had filled her every vein and she couldn't believe her luck. She had always known that in society, everyone praised her for being a proper woman who had never done something wrong and surely it must have reached the Bass heir as well. Now she knew that the only reason he had married her was for him to be taken seriously. He had been known for his womanizing ways, inappropriate pictures of him were all over the press. Although she had known all of this, she couldn't help but wonder if he was different on the inside. She had been naïve. On her wedding day, she had found out what an ass he actually was.

"You like to think you know me, but you don't." She responded angrily.

He didn't say anything back and were both left silently staring into blankness.

"Take your sunglasses off." He ordered after a while and her hands shot up to do as he said. She cursed herself for obliging him. She had been taught to obey and now she wished she hadn't always been such a good girl.

Wordlessly her sunglasses fell to the side and she felt exposed. For the first time since their wedding day their eyes met and she felt her cheeks reddening.

"You know, I'm still pissed at you for the stunt you pulled on our wedding day." He told her, his intense stare never wavering away from her eyes.

It was her, who couldn't hold his intense gaze. She scoffed and looked away, but her eyes were drawn back automatically and locked with his again.

"You're pissed at me? Did you ever think that I left you for a reason?" She asked furiously.

His eyes darkened and she could see his jaw clenching. "I knew it." He said crossly. "I knew you were seeing someone else, no one is that pristine and flawless."

She rolled her eyes at his words, the same words everybody used when talking about her and always made her sick to hear. It felt like she wasn't allowed to make mistakes at all.

"It has nothing to do with someone else! It has to do with you!" Her voice was rising with every word uttered.

His brows furrowed in confusion. "I haven't done anything to you." He answered her.

She just shook her head. He couldn't even recall it.

"Really? So it wasn't you who had his tongue down that blonde's throat right after we had said our vows?" She asked him.

She remembered it perfectly; she had been looking for him, because some of the guests had wanted to take pictures of them and she had found him on the balcony with a leggy blonde. She had seen how tenderly he had caressed her arm and had laughed along with her. Then he had leant forward to kiss her. In that moment she had known that marrying Charles Bass was the biggest mistake of her life.

"You mean Lea? She's just a friend and she was leaving." He answered her question.

Her eyes widened at his response. He acted like it was the most normal thing to do when a friend left.

"So you kiss every girl good bye?" She asked aghast and felt her cheeks burning with anger.

He just shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't care about her." He told her. It wasn't a good enough answer for her.

She licked her lips, blinking a few times before finding the courage to say what she had wanted to tell him since after their wedding.

"I want a divorce." It was easier to actually say those words than she had thought. He instantly looked up at her.

"Not going to happen." He told her succinctly. She frowned at his response; it wasn't exactly what she had expected. She hadn't been around for half a year, what husband would have been okay with that?

"I don't love you and you don't love me, so what's the point?" She asked him.

"The point is that I'm not going to divorce you." His voice rose.

"But I don't want to be married to you." She enunciated.

"Why?" He asked her, his voice rich with suspicion, raising his eyebrows, but then his eyes narrowed. "I was right. There is someone else." He simply accused her, yet again.

She wanted to scream no and ask him how he could think so little of her, she was still married to him, but she stopped herself and thought that maybe he would let her go if she told him that there really was someone else.

"Yes, there is someone else, so I want a divorce." She lied to him, trying this way to make it easier for him.

"Another reason not to divorce you. You can tell your little beau that you can't meet him anymore. You're my wife." He told her- his features hardened as he turned to look out the window.

She huffed angrily, her cheeks flushing. It seemed like she lost this battle, but she wasn't going to stop until he would let her go. But she decided to embark on this mission the next day, because right then she was too tired from the long voyage to argue with him.

She leant her head against the cool windowpane and looked out over the city. The whole flight had been exhausting- her eyes slowly closed and she drifted off into a deep slumber.

Later, she sensed someone picking her up, her head leaning against a warm chest, a heart beating in a consistent rhythm. She immediately knew who it was and wanted to protest and yell at him for picking her up like that, but she was too tired and had no intention to walk to that enormous building- which looked pretty far away through half opened eyes-on her own. So she just snuggled closer into his chest.

xoxoxoxoxo

**A/N:** Well, this story may seem a little outdated with the marriage and all, but I still hope it is enjoyable. I don't know when the next update will be, it depends on the feedback I'll get, so if you liked it, review it :)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **First of all, I'm so sorry that I didn't update for such a long time. I really wanted to but I never seemed to be pleased with how the chapters turned out. :( Here it finally is though and I hope that you guys like it :)

And thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I honestly didn't expect such great feedback.

xoxoxo

"Turn off the light." She murmured without thinking, when she felt a warm and garish light disturbing her peaceful sleep.

"I can't turn off the sun." She heard a husky manly voice speaking.

She promptly sat up, as if waking up from a dread night mare, and looked at the direction the voice was coming from. And there he was, standing next to the large window, where the sun was intruding.

Her body grew rigid when she noticed that she was just in her underwear. Her hands searched for the cover instantly; the second she found it she infolded herself with it. She'd been sprawled on his bed, half naked and he'd seen her like that. Had he been watching her sleep? She felt the redness creep on her cheeks, but she tried to play it cool, not making him notice that she was burning with embarrassment inside.

"Where am I?" She asked, looking around, avoiding his look at all costs.

"At home." He answered, still looking at her, his gaze unreadable.

She gritted her teeth and finally looked at him, the brightness that penetrated from the window making her see just his frame for a second, her eyes needing to adjust to the light. Her look hard, her inside though crowded with uncertainty.

"I'm not." She clarified, harshly.

He didn't seem to mind her harshness and smirked in her direction. It wasn't the smirk she knew from their other encounters. This smirk was different, it looked crueler and it didn't make his eyes sparkle.

Silence stretched between them and she just wanted to get away from him immediately. He made her feel out of breath, nervous. She stood up without having a destination in mind.

"Bathroom's over there." He told her, his smirk had already left his lips and his voice was deep and husky.  
Her eyes followed the direction his hand was pointing to and she walked towards it, the cover still firmly wrapped around her.

She entered the bathroom, closing the door behind her and letting out a sigh of relief. She let go of the cover, shut her eyes and tried to regain back some strength. What was she doing here? The last thing she wanted was to end up at his home. She had let herself get into this situation. The memories from last night flooded her mind. The shock that she had felt when she saw him on the airport, the way he'd looked at her in the limo. If the memories weren't so vivid, she would have thought that all of it never happened, just an out of body experience. She remembered that he'd carried her up to this room, that she had snuggled herself closer to him. She felt her cheeks heat when she thought about just how safe she had felt in his arms. He had put her down on that very bed and had climbed in next to her. Mortification rose in her when she recalled that he'd actually been next to her while she'd undressed herself. She didn't know what she had been thinking, but in that very moment, she hadn't thought of Chuck Bass, as her cheating husband but rather the Chuck Bass, she had always seen with those rose-colored glasses. This got more and more out of hand, she thought. She was back for just one reason and that reason wasn't Chuck Bass.

She walked towards the wash basin and splashed water in her face to make the buzzing in her head disappear that was causing all of these thoughts. She needed to leave this place; she couldn't stay here. She lifted her head and saw her reflection in the mirror. She looked flustered, flushed even, and her eyes were big and indecisive. This was how he'd seen her and it made her feel weak. She compressed her lips and hardened her gaze. He needed to know that she wouldn't just obey him and do whatever he wanted. She'll get her way and they'll be separated in no time. With these thoughts she prepared herself to leave this place.

She needed to put herself together to look more decent first, so she wouldn't feel so all over the place. She turned around and noticed clothes neatly hung up on the bathroom door. He had female clothes, which were washed, in his bathroom and it didn't surprise her to say the least. She licked her lips and made precariously steps towards them. Suddenly she noticed something in horror. Those clothes were not some sluts ones, like she'd assumed, they were hers. The ones she'd worn the day before. They were washed and they smelled fresh and like roses. She took them from the hanger and dressed herself, combing her curly hair and looking in the mirror for the last time to see if everything looked the way she wanted.

She took the cover from the ground and folded it neatly. With a last deep breath she opened the bathroom door, feeling more confident again, able to meet him with a more presentable appearance. He was still there, he had waited, she noticed and it made her inside flip for some odd reason she couldn't explain.

He looked back at her, his look doing that thing again that he always seemed to do. His eyes wandering from the top of her head down to her toes and lingering a quite bit longer on inappropriate places.  
She needed to get it over with now, before her confidence abandoned her or his intense gaze would kill her, suffocate her.  
"I'm leaving." She stated her voice steady and certain, while walking towards the bed and placing the cover gently on it. "I really appreciate your hospitality but now I really need to go." She added business-like looking back at him. This time she could see his eyes sparkling - in amusement though.  
It made her feel insecure again, as if she'd said something wrong, but she didn't let it show, crossing her arms in front of her.

"I see you found your clothes." He changed the subject, his voice lazy and indifferent.

"Yes, thanks." She answered, sincerely being grateful. His gaze took her in again; she wasn't sure if he did it on purpose to make her feel uncomfortable or if he didn't realize what he was doing to her, she was just glad that they weren't standing too close to each other. It seemed like he was memorizing every single one of her features.

"You're different." He stated and his eyes were looking back at hers. She knew what he meant. She was indeed different. She was independent and not that girl who had had a silly crush on him. Her thoughts wandering back to the first time they've met; she had blushed every time he had looked at her and had averted her eyes. She had been very polite and at times she even had had difficulties to make conversation with him, because she'd been too shy and nervous. When she looked back at that time, Chuck Bass had looked perfect to her and she needed to shake her head at that thought. But sure, he had never given her any doubt that he could be a perfect gentleman and had let her think of him as some sort of Prince. He had even complimented her more than necessary.

_"If I didn't know better, I'd easily mistake you with an angel."_

Those words had made her heart swell and after he'd said that so touchingly, he had even leaned in and had kissed her. It had been rather a peck but it had made her inside go all jelly nonetheless. He had seen her reaction and had smiled at her.

But now she knew that she wasn't the same anymore and he certainly wasn't some sort of Prince; he had showed her clearly that he was anything but. The masks were off, and with his betrayal and her mother's death her striving and pressure to be perfect slowly but surely was vanishing. She didn't feel the need to please anyone, because she saw no point in it anymore. So she spat out when she needed to, she discussed things and didn't just retreat instantly. She spoke for herself without regrets.

"I changed, indeed." She said her voice a little too unsteady. She'd changed but the transformation was still on process. There was still a side in her that was shy, nervous and hesitant around him.

"You know, there's something alluring about an angel drawn to the dark side." He said, his voice above a whisper, his eyes looking into hers and a smirk firmly on his lips. She gulped thickly; it was like he could read her mind as if he knew what she'd been thinking about. She didn't know how to respond. Her eyes were still fixated on him but then her heels turned towards the door; she just wanted to get out of there.

"Where exactly are you going?" He asked, though his voice seemed rather disinterested and detached.

"To my actual home." She responded without turning, the door was only some steps away, but his little laugh made her stop. The laugh sounded mockingly, pityingly even. Her head turned to look at him, her brows furrowed.

"I'm sorry to be the one bearing bad news, but you don't have a home anymore. Your mother lost everything, Blair." He said and this time his voice sounded somewhat cheery, as if he was enjoying her misery.

She cleared her throat, swallowing down the feel of loss. He didn't need to notice that this piece of information made her feel worse than she already had felt before.

"Well, I have to go anyway. This is not my home and it'll never be." She tried to sound as unaffected as possible and to her surprise she did.

"Tonight. There's a gala we need to attend. You have to be back at 8." He stated simply, intentionally ignoring the finality in her voice.

"I won't come." She said determined, if it went her way she'll never set foot in there again, even sending people to take her belongings out of there.

"You will, you're my wife." He told her, lazily as if he'd already won with that.

"Just on papers." She answered. "And that could change instantly." She gave him one fake smile and with that she left the room to go to her penthouse.

xoxoxo

She walked down the streets to her former home. Everything seemed to be the same, it certainly felt like that, but a lot had changed. One of those changes being that her mother wasn't there anymore. She tightened her coat around her and inhaled slowly, memories from the last time she had heard her mother's voice keeping her mind busy. It was after she had fled the wedding when her mother had tried to call her.

"_Young lady, what are you thinking? Pick up your phone, immediately. Everyone's already looking for you. Call me back the minute you listen to this." _

Guilt had abruptly rushed through her body. She had just listened to the message, afraid to call her back, afraid how all the people would react. She had never been the one people talked about nor did she ever want to be one of those.

_"Blair, I'm still waiting for you to call me back. I thought you wanted this. You told me you want to marry him, why would you leave so suddenly without a word? Tell me where you are, I'm worried. Just pick up your phone." _

Just when she thought of her mother's calls her eyes became watery. The first messages were rather commanding ones and the more messages she had left the more desperate and worried they had sounded. She had disappointed her mother and that's the last thing she ever wanted.

She had never called back to tell her where she was, somehow thinking that her mother would try to convince her to come back, or rather send someone to bring her back.

Now though, she could understand her worry and her phone calls. Blair had been all her mother had had.

When Blair had been nine years old her father had left them and had moved to France, Blair becoming the only person that Eleanor truly cared for then. Their relationship had never been a typical mother daughter relationship. There were ups and downs, more downs than ups though. They sure had had a special bond but her mother had been way too protective over her after her father had left. Two years later her father had died and her mother had started to take even more radical measures to keep her daughter safe. She'd been afraid that something might happen to Blair or that she'd lose her in any way. Eleanor had taken her out of school and Blair started to get homeschooled. There were advantages and disadvantages with homeschooling. One disadvantage that had bothered her in the beginning was that she had barely any friends, just the ones that she had had before she got taken out of school. Soon though, she had lost touch with them and most of them suddenly felt like strangers to her, but she did have a best friend, which she truly could rely on, she thought and a little smile curled on her lips.

Slowly her penthouse came into sight and she looked at it, a feeling of nostalgic making its way through her body. There it was. Her home. She looked at it from afar and it still looked the same, nothing gave the impression that a certain Waldorf woman wouldn't be there to greet her long lost daughter, giving her a piece of her mind first but then in the end forgetting their differences and taking her daughter in her arms, telling her that she'd missed her. Blair shook her head slightly; she couldn't fool herself, as much as she wished she could.

It was still the same doorman she realized so she walked towards him. She could see the surprise on his face when he saw her.

"Good morning Miss Waldo - , oh, I mean Mrs. Bass." He greeted her friendly, covering his embarrassment quickly.

"Good morning." She answered his nice greeting and ignored the naming. She wasn't used to be called anything else than Waldorf.

The doorman looked at her while the silence seemed to never end.

"My deepest condolences Mrs. Bass, I'm really sorry for your loss." The doorman broke the quietness.

Again, a twinge, she could feel it, deep in her. Her mother really was gone. She looked at the doorman, trying to display a girl who has gotten over the fact that her mother wasn't among them anymore; but when she saw the compassionate look the doorman gave her, she knew she was failing at it.

"Do you happen to know who lives here now?" She asked, slowly and unsure, wanting to speak about anything but her mother.

"Sure. Her name's Serena Humphrey." The doorman responded.

The name didn't ring any bells. She'd never heard of this name before.

"She moved in two months ago, she flew in from Australia." The doorman explained to her, seeing Blair's puzzled expression. That did explain why she'd never heard of that name before. But suddenly another thought occurred to her. Her mother had died just three weeks ago.

"Two months you say? You're sure?" Blair asked, slowly.

"Yes, two months ago, I'm sure. She flew in when your mother sold the penthouse." The doorman explained to her, assuring her.

Blair bit her lip, trying to keep her remorse down. She hadn't been there when her mother had been going through so much. She felt as if at some point she could have prevented her mother's death, if she just had been there.

She looked back at the doorman.

"Why did she sell it?" Blair asked desperate for answers. The doorman seemed to get uneasy with telling her so much information, looking back and forth.

"As far as I know, she did it to save her clothing line but in the end it didn't suffice, but that's just what I've heard." He looked at her, sympathy across his face.

She breathed in noisily, letting all those new found information dawn in, most of them not making sense at all to her.

"Thank you." She thanked the doorman, cracking a half smile and turning around to walk away. She exhaled slowly, suddenly feeling a little cold, while walking down the street. She walked but then halted, one thought crossed her mind. She was walking but she had nowhere to go.

She had officially no home.

She had no place to go, except back to _him._ Tears sting in her eyes, when she realized that for that very moment she was powerless. She pushed back the tears; she wasn't going to cry over nothing. Licking her lips, she looked back once more, feeling lost. She had no other choice then to go back and attend that gala with him. Suddenly a light dawned on her, as if to save her.

The gala.

There were people from the UES, people that she certainly knew; maybe she'd see someone who'll help her out for a while. She sighed, relieved. She just needed to make an appearance and then she could leave Chuck and just forget that she'd ever married him in the first place; erase that single most horrible mistake in her life.

That was the plan, she thought, hope filling her body again.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **I am unbelievably sorry for the long wait, I know I'm terrible. I just needed so long for this chapter, I redid it a hundred times, I am not even kidding. I wasn't pleased with it at all, but now I think it's okay. I would love to hear your thoughts, they do encourage me quite a lot and I hope I'll be able to update the next chapter asap. and btw, did you guys see the promo? All I can say is we've waited long enough ;)

She went back to his home, a knot in her stomach. She could already imagine how he'll react, all self-satisfied that he was right. She wanted to walk directly to her - , well, _their_ bedroom when she caught sight of an enormous painting on the wall which made her halt in her tracks.

It was nothing like she'd ever seen before, it was tremendous.

There were two pairs of eyes staring back at her. One pair, which had similarities with her husband's caramel brown and distinctive ones and the other pair were a cold, distant blue. The woman with the brown eyes was smiling, a certain glow illuminating her, while the man with his piercing blue eyes had a severe look on his face.

They both looked elegant, classy and intimidating in their own way. One of their hands was intertwined together, showing a soft side to those quite overawing characters. She instantly realized that this two must be her husband's parents; he was the image of his mother, same eyes, same cheekbones and same smooth lips.

The only thing he seemed to have inherited from his father was the stern look. She knew that his parents had passed away a long time ago, but that was all she knew, nothing more. She just realized how little she knew about him, near to nothing.

She stared at the enchanting painting for a bit longer and felt the urge to touch the gold frame that contained that radiant portrait, her hand reaching out ever so slowly -

"Mrs. Bass",

A voice shot through the foyer and her fingers twitched, her hand retreating straight away. She looked at the direction the voice was coming from and saw a short grey haired maid making her way to her. Blair gulped putting a strain of hair behind her ear.

"Can I help you?" The elderly maid offered eyeing her slowly.

"No, it's alright. Thank you." Blair refused politely, passing the maid and walking straight to the bedroom.

After the swift encounter with the maid, Blair found herself in the bedroom. There was no sight of her husband which made her relax but at the same time let her wonder where he might be. She shook that thought away, concentrating on finding a dress for the gala. She soon realized that her luggage wasn't there anymore as if they'd disappeared. She let out a frustrated sound, though glad that nobody was there to witness her like that.

Suddenly she heard a knock on the door and she slightly jumped in surprised. She walked towards it and opened it to reveal the maid again.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Bass, is everything alright? I thought I've heard something." The woman asked.

Blair looked at the maid and offered her a fainted smile, a little embarrassed that the maid had heard her.

"Well," Blair started and let the door wide open. "I can't find my luggage." Blair's eyes were still searching. The maids' eyes though quickly gleamed in response.

"Oh", she said smiling brightly. She walked towards the cupboards and opened one of them. "Here." She gestured towards her clothes, her smile still present.

Blair's gaze wandered to the opened cupboard and she saw her dresses already hung up and her other clothes ironed and folded, perfectly in place.

"Is all of my stuff already packed out?" Blair asked in disbelief.

"Yes", the woman answered quite proud of herself it seemed. "I put everything in place, your bathrobe, shampoo, conditioner are in the bathroom and –", she finally caught sight of Blair's gaze and halted abruptly.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, I didn't know – was I not allowed to ...to unpack your things?" She asked, anxiously folding and unfolding her hands nervously.  
"Because I got orders from Mr. Bass to do so, I didn't know that – ", she tried to explain but Blair stopped her.

"It's okay", Blair told her, trying to plaster a smile on her face. It seemed like he had already made the decision for her. She breathed out unnoticeably to calm her herself, to not show that it did bother her quite a lot that all her stuff were at places they didn't belong. "Thank you very much for your help." Blair added, at last.

The maids' lips curled upwards again, the relief written over her face.

"Oh before I forget, the limo is already waiting outside, Ma'am. Arthur will take you to the gala." The maid informed Blair, nodded her head shortly and turned around to leave.

She knew she would instantly regret this but she just needed to feed her curiosity.

"Do you happen to know where Mr. Bass is?" She threw in before the maid could leave the bedroom. The maid turned around, looking a little confused that she'd ask such a question.

"He's already at the gala; he had to be there earlier. I thought he'd tell you." The maid answered her question politely but Blair could still hear the underlying tone which showed her that the maid found it odd that her husband wouldn't tell her that. It bothered Blair too much to just let it go, to let the maids' assumption win.

"Oh right", Blair suddenly said. "He'd mentioned it earlier; it must have slipped my mind." She lied, shaking her head and smiling brilliantly. The maid smiled back and excused herself.

As the maid left, Blair had still plenty of time to prepare herself. She looked through her closet and decided to wear a simple red dress. It was comfortable and it would look good on her. She took a shower and dressed herself perfectly, putting on her favorite, blood red lipstick and throwing a thin black scarf around her shoulders.

She left her bedroom and walked out into the darkening soft night.

Her plan was still very much on.

...

When she arrived at the gala she entered the big room and quickly noticed in quite a horror that she wasn't properly dressed for the event. She thought it was a common gala but this looked thoroughly pompous and the women were wearing dresses which looked like from the Middle Age.

This was definitely no common gala. It seemed more like a time jump, a beautiful ball. It most definitely had a theme.

She suppressed the urge to turn around and leave. People had already noticed her and had even taken pictures. She put all her strength together and continued walking and trying her best so no one would notice that she was beyond mortified; she instead smiled courteously. She'd made a grand entrance that was for sure.

She looked around and the only things she saw were strangers; strangers laughing together, sipping their drinks and making polite conversation. It made her feel out of place. She'd never been on such an event before. Sure, she used to go to events with her mother, but they never seemed this big and glorious to her.

She let her gaze slide through the crowd again, to see if there was someone she knew, when she spotted her husband talking to a tall black haired,_ beautiful_ woman. Her whole body tensed and she didn't move an inch. He was laughing and it seemed like a déjà vu.

She felt a stirring inside her again, but ignored it entirely. The reasons why she wanted to leave him were just adding up. She knew that he would never change and turned around to walk away, just to bump into someone and almost tipping out his drink.

"Oh I'm sorry." She apologized and looked up just to see a familiar face staring back at her, first a little startled but then surprised and grinning happily at her. Her body immediately eased and a smile spread on her lips.

"Nate." She let out, not hiding her joy.

"Oh my God, Blair, it's so good to see you here." He said with a toothy smile and her smile grew even wider. She didn't know what overcame her but she suddenly felt like an eight year old girl who just needed to hug her best friend, squeezing him softly and letting out a sigh of relief. People started looking but she didn't care. It made her whole body relax to know that he was there, too, someone she actually knew.

"Where have you been?" He asked. "I really missed you." He said, kissing the side of her face.

"I missed you, too." She answered him.

It felt good to have him there, she didn't want to let go just yet that was until she saw Chuck looking at them with furrowed brows. She withdrew herself from Nate gently, still smiling at him a radiant smile.

"So how have you been?" Nate asked immediately after releasing her from the embrace, though reaching out to take her hands in his. Blair felt her lips curl upwards again.

"I've been good; I spent some time in France." She told him, her eyes looking around to see where Chuck had left.

Nate suddenly lowered his voice, his face taking on a more serious note. "Blair, I don't know if you want to talk about it but what happened on your wedding day?" He asked in a whisper, obviously concerned about his best friend. Blair opened her mouth to respond when she saw Chuck approaching them.

"Nate, can we meet tomorrow at our duck pond around 2 pm?" She asked quickly, ignoring his question. She saw his confusion but her eyes begged him.

"We really need to catch up." She tried to explain, her face still holding that certain happiness.

"Sure." Nate answered and before she could reply back she felt one arm going around her waist and firmly grabbing her. Nate softly let go of her hands and looked at the intruder who had just interfered in their already months due conversation.

"Nathaniel, nice to see you." He said one arm still possessively around Blair's waist while the other one reached for Nate's hand to shake.

"Chuck, it's good to see you, too." Nate replied, through clenched teeth, shaking his hand firmly. Blair could tell that he didn't seem too fond of Chuck.

"So, what were you two talking about?" Chuck asked and looked between the two of them. Blair wanted to tell him that it's none of his business but she bit her tongue. She knew it would lead to nothing.

"We were just talking about her return, I'm glad to see that she's back." Nate told him, honestly.

"Yes, it's great to have her back." Chuck agreed and Blair had to look at him. He was playing his part as a loving husband well. As if he actually meant it, but she knew him, he was, well, just playing the part.

"Now if you don't mind", Chuck started making a gesture that he wanted to leave and Nate immediately understood.

"Sure, no problem." Nate answered and turned to Blair. "Blair, I'll see you around." He smiled at her and turned around, leaving.

"So?" Chuck asked expectantly, turning to look at her, his eyes taking in her appearance.

"You couldn't inform me that there was a dressing code, could you?" She spat at him, being more than annoyed that she showed up like that.

"You told me you won't come, so I assumed it wouldn't be necessary to inform you about details." He answered, his eyes lighting up, he looked amused and she hated it.

She'd never thought of him as a schemer, but it felt like it was some scheme of his to get back at her for leaving on their wedding day. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, while her eyes were still looking at his figure.

"Though I have to say, red suits you perfectly." He spoke, his voice low and somewhat seductive, leaning in just close enough so his breath grazed her lips making a chill go down her spine. She didn't realize that they were standing so close to each other. He didn't look away; his eyes were fixated on her blood red colored lips.

"What?" Blair managed to whisper as she saw him looking at her that way again, she again felt a little uncomfortable under his gaze, sharply eyeing him from head to toe; he did look good in his suit, she could admit that much.

"What changed your mind?" He asked, his eyes snapping back to meet her look, while the corners of his lips were slightly twitching. She shook her head, he really took serious pleasure in her misery, she thought.

"You were right," She sighed and looked down, not wanting to see his triumphantly gaze again. "My mother apparently did lose everything, which means I have no place to stay." She explained defeated and decided to look up again, something in her pushing her to look at him. His gaze surprised her though. It was nothing she had expected, it was worse. His face showed some sort of sympathy. Blair Waldorf wasn't used to sympathy and it made her feel uneasy.

"Anyway," She waved it off as if it was no big deal. "I guess I'm stuck with you." She murmured.

"I guess so." He answered, lowly not giving much away.

"But just temporary." She pointed out, resolved. For a moment they just looked at each other before she heard him speak again.

"It doesn't have to be." He finally said, his eyes were boring through hers and she couldn't take that intense stare. For a second she even thought she saw genuine concern in his eyes but she immediately threw that thought away. Silly her.

"It does." She shot back, insistently and stalked off.

It was later that evening when she felt his presence behind her. She had a glass of champagne in her hand but she had yet to take a sip. The room had a dim light and people were dancing together, pair dance and it did look quite amazing, she marveled.

"Care to dance?" He asked politely and she turned around to face him, mustering him slowly.

He didn't look as if he wanted to dance so she just raised an eyebrow at him.

"No, thank you very much." She said as politely as he'd asked and turned to walk away. But his hand reached for her elbow stopping her in her tracks. She sighed to herself, putting down the champagne on the nearby counter and, again, turned her head to look at him with a rather bored expression.

His face was quite impassive though as his hand moved unhurriedly from her elbow down to her hand, his gaze following the trace of caresses that his hand was inflicting and which made her skin tingle. She was sure he did this deliberately; he probably still knew what effect he had on her. When he finally reached her hand he took it gently, looking back in her eyes. She on the other hand looked away because she didn't need him to see that such a meaningless touch could make her feel so fairly out of breath.

They both headed to the dance floor, hand in hand, and she felt a bit fuzzy although she hadn't taken a single sip of champagne.

She did not like how this evening was turning out. She saw people gushing about them, smiling and aww'ing, she even heard people saying that they make quite the match.

All she did was smile blandly, acting like everything was perfect but all she wanted to do was pull her hand out of his grasp and make a run for it. But she knew she couldn't do that so she obliged, surrendered.

When they reached the dance floor, he swirled her around slightly so she'd face him and at the same time he pulled on her hand so her whole body was flush against his.

One of his hands went around her waist while the other didn't let go of her hand. She hated this, the proximity. They were way too close for her liking; she didn't want him near her.

"My mother apparently sold the penthouse two months ago and as far as I know she died three weeks ago." Blair stated, trying to focus on conversation rather than the burning sensation that his chest against hers caused. He took the lead and started to sway her over the dance floor, when she saw a shadow crossing his features. It disappeared as fast as it had appeared but she'd caught it for a flicker of second.

He didn't respond just compressed his lips and nodded his head briefly."Is there something you want to tell me?" She immediately jumped in, narrowing her eyes at him. His eyes turned cold again, the stare reminded her of that portrait she'd just seen earlier of his father.

"No." He answered succinct. "Not really." He added imperviously. She watched his features for a second longer, tightening her eyes but his look didn't change and she let it go, for now.

"What happened to her line?" Blair asked, changing the subject.

"It's still running." He answered, her body relaxing at his words and her interest perking up.

"Who's running it?" She felt hope rise in her.

"I am." Chuck told her. "Your mother had had some financial difficulties with her line and I helped her out and ended up buying it because there was no other way to save it." He concluded and she scrutinized him distrustfully.

"It's still running under the Waldorf name, of course, and your mother's latest designs are currently on work. The ones she designed before she died." Chuck added after seeing her look and although this information did soothe her she as well heard the edge in his voice when he mentioned her mother's death.

Maybe he thought he could arise some emotions with that, which he actually did, but it took more than that for her to break.

"That's good." Is all she could manage to get out and let her gaze drift around the dance floor. She still felt his stare on her skin though.

"And was there a will?" She asked when she turned her head to face him again. At that, she saw his mouth curling in a tiny smirk – not one that she'd like to remember. A low chuckling followed and she knew that she shouldn't have asked.

"A will? Really?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at her. "You didn't even show up at her funeral and you're asking for a will? Is that the reason you came back? Really classy, I have to say." He concluded and she felt like he'd just stabbed her right through her heart. "There is no will, your mother had exactly nothing when she died. I did tell you this before." He told her cruelly. She clenched her teeth forcefully, he knew how to make her blood boil and she didn't understand why he was doing that.

"I think we've danced enough." She tried to let go of his hand but he wasn't loosening his grip.

"I need something to drink." She added and at this he let go of her. She stalked away from the dance floor and from him towards the bar to take a glass of champagne with the difference that this time she would waste no time drinking it.

She knew that she had no spare time because he sure would join her sooner or later. And she proved herself right. It took twenty minutes for him to be at her side again, taking a bar stool and sitting next to her. His shoulders brushed hers slightly and she wondered why he'd sit this close to her. She felt like he was babysitting her or watching over her.

"You know, you can enjoy yourself. You don't need to watch over me. I can take care of myself." She almost barked at him.

"Who says I'm watching over you? Can't I just come to the bar to take a drink?" He countered and she hated him for sounding so nonchalant and sincere that she had no other choice than believe his words.

She took the last sip of her third glass of champagne. "I'm just saying." She added, suddenly feeling like tonight she could speak her mind or maybe it was just the alcohol that did wonders to her. "I mean it's not like I don't know why you've married me." She said, turning her head so her eyes were locked with his. This time she didn't intend to look away. She'll wait until he would.

"Oh really?" His eyes lit up, and for the first time she saw that he was interested in hearing her thoughts.

"Yes." She chimed, eyeing him carefully. "Business", she started succinctly. "It was an exchange, you'll help my mother and she'll help you. With me on your side you'll be taken seriously, because let's be honest, up until the day you announced your marriage to me, every single person hated you with a passion." She did not care that she was being harsh, he was too and his look was just spurning her on.

"Thanks to my involvement they actually thought you'd be able to take responsibility and that somewhere in you there was more than just a person who was only known for his debauchery and for his legacy that he couldn't handle. I mean Eleanor Waldorf herself let her daughter marry the ultimate womanizer, so there must be something good in you that nobody knows about right?" She said, mockingly and laughed lowly.

"But now I don't know if they still think that way, after I just left without a word, I'm sure your reputation went from bad to worse. They started questioning you again, didn't they? That's why you're holding on so hard and trying to keep up an act. You want to be taken seriously and you'll only succeed if I play along." She concluded, while her hand was making circles around the rim of the champagne glass and their eyes were still connected. It was him who looked away first and she relished in the feeling it gave her that he backed down first.

"Well, I have to say, you do know how to put pieces together." He said, smirking and suddenly he leaned in, his face unbelievably close to hers and his hand landing on her bare knee.

She told herself that the warm feeling that was rushing through her body had nothing to do with his hand on her knee. It was just the alcohol, she mentally decided. "I'm still trying to figure out why you married me though." He continued with a low voice. At that, she tried her best not to redden, hadn't it been obvious to him, why she'd married him?

"First I thought you were marrying me out of business as well, because your mother wanted you to marry me. But then you run away because of some petty interaction that I had with another woman." He eyed her, the hand on her knee was inching towards her thigh under her loose dress, caressing her lightly and she did stir, looking away from him for a moment.

"You're quite hard to figure out." He added shortly and then moved his mouth to her ear. "But then again, I like women that are…" He stopped, she was sure it was just for theatric. "A mystery to me." He whispered and she slowly let out her breath, trying hard not to shiver.

"So do you want to keep up the act?" He unexpectedly asked and seemed almost innocent. "I mean, you don't have to but after your theory you'd certainly help me out." He raised his eyebrows briefly and his eyes were still looking back at hers. "You're game?"

She cleared her throat, not sure if she understood what he meant with that. He clarified it when she saw his head inching towards her and she did her best to hide her surprise.

She definitely didn't see that coming. He misinterpreted her long silence as an agreement since his face was just some inches apart from hers and inching closer and closer. She felt him grab her thigh tighter and maybe it was the alcohol or just the temptation but she found herself leaning in as well.

His lips were so close, so very close and she didn't want to shut her eyes just yet, her eyes fixated on his lips. But as his lips touched hers softly she gave in and her eyes fluttered close, not really having any control anymore. She thought that was it, so she went to pull away but suddenly she felt his hand come up to her face, his other hand still laying on her thigh.

His lips were still on hers and he started to deepen the kiss, his hand moving to her neck pulling her towards him. She tried not to show that she was taken aback, she mimed him by kissing him with the same pace until his tongue slid in her mouth and she suddenly felt weak in her knees and was glad that she was sitting or else she was sure her jelly knees wouldn't have had the strength to keep her standing. She found her hands reaching out to grab the lapels of his jacket drawing him closer, one of her hand starting to wander into his hair.

She was the one pulling now, pulling his head towards her and her tongue started to caress his softly. Suddenly voices pierced through her ears; that's when she remembered where they actually were and what she was actually _doing._ She abruptly stopped, clearing her throat, her hands letting go of him as if he'd burnt her. His hands were still on the same places though.

"That was quite an act." He whispered and she noticed that she'd left him out of breath. She saw his tongue flickering out and licking his lips.  
He looked disheveled and she knew it was her doing. She looked back to his lips and noticed her lipstick traces on them. For a second she thought about reaching out and wiping them away but then she decided against it. It gave her pleasure to see that she had marked him in some kind of way.

"You know, I've always been good at keeping up an act." She told him, hiding her embarrassed self and smiling at him mischievously.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thanks to all who've reviewed, favourited or are following this story. I am unbelievably grateful for all the kind words. So I tried to update asap and I think I did good. hehe. I mean this is by far my quickest update :) And as for Blair's actions and motivations, there's more behind them than we've seen. It just takes some more chapters to actually put all the pieces together. :)

And now, enjoy.

The limo ride home was overlain with quietness. She was way too tired to talk and it seemed that he wasn't in the mood to tell anything either. Her head was slightly feeling dizzy and she still couldn't believe that she'd actually kissed him back.

She wanted a divorce and she ended up kissing him; that was not the right way to get what she wanted. She knew that he probably thought that she was going to play along, but she wasn't, she just needed time though to figure out where she'd stay.

But that kiss didn't leave her mind, the scene replaying in her head over and over again. She told herself that it was just a relapse, because she'd once really thought that he would be the one for her, plus there was alcohol involved.

But deep down she couldn't fight this feeling, a feeling that was so very strong that she had difficulties keeping it buried in place. That kiss had worsened everything, she felt like she couldn't think straight anymore, that she couldn't trust herself around him. They'd kissed and as much as she tried to push it away, to make herself not believe it, it had made her feel so unbelievably fantastic.

Of course, it hadn't been their first kiss but it had felt so completely different. All they'd ever shared were pecks; they'd only seen each other for a month and rather briefly before their wedding and back then, he'd always been so exaggeratedly careful and thoughtful with her as if she was a porcelain doll which might break any minute. Sure, they had barely known each other, but then again, it wasn't as if that had changed since then, she thought. They still did not know much about each other.

But this time when they'd kissed though she felt like he was more passionate about it and it puzzled her to say the least. She didn't quite know what had changed, maybe it was her, maybe it was their situation or maybe it was just everything.

She shook those nonsense thoughts away and relaxed somewhat, telling herself that whatever it was, it would never happen again. She watched him then, noticing that he was looking out of the window.

Her eyes wandered from the top of his head down to his striking jaw and continued travelling downwards. His features were hard and she didn't know why his look did mesmerize her quite this much. He shifted a little and she stopped staring, immediately looking the other way, hoping that he had not noticed her looking at him that way. She glanced at him again and saw him eyeing her.

"You're cold?" He suddenly asked and she furrowed her brows. With her mind being occupied with other things, she hadn't noticed that she'd been trembling slightly.

"I-", She felt that her hands which were tightly clasped together were ice cold. She looked down at herself and noticed that her thighs and legs were covered with goose bumps and so were her bare arms. The thin scarf that she'd put around herself didn't help much to keep her warm.

"There's something wrong with the radiator, I need to get it checked tomorrow", he explained while taking off his jacket. He slid closer to her and she raised her eyebrows not sure what he was intending to do. He leaned in nonetheless and put his jacket around her little figure. She looked at him with wide brown eyes and he was just staring back at her, not a hint of any emotion observable but the gesture spoke for itself. His hands were lingering on her shoulders for a tad too long and she could see a faint smile appear on his lips before he slid back to his former place.

"Thank you." She said above a whisper, tightening his jacket around her. He just nodded curtly and turned to look out of the window again.

They arrived home just minutes later and she followed him to their bedroom wordlessly, his jacket still around her tiny frame. She was feeling weary, the day had been exhausting for her, so the only thing she wished to do was sleep. So when they reached the bedroom she rummaged the drawers for a nightgown and walked straight into the bathroom and changed into it. As she walked out of the bathroom she saw him standing there, she did gasp since she didn't expect seeing him undressing himself. She quickly recovered though, shaking her head to get a grip and looking in his direction again.

"Where am I supposed to sleep?" She asked, her hands clutching her gown, looking around. He stopped mid undressing, turning around and staring at her, pointing to his king size bed and frowning at her for a second.

"I can share, what's mine is yours." He added coolly, putting his shirt aside. She just pursed her lips and caught herself watching his upper body.

Without thinking she hopped into the bed, to avoid any more embarrassing stares and covered herself with the bedcover when suddenly he started to undo his belt and her body went still. She was already under the bedcover and wasn't intending to leave that warm and comfortable place. She saw his hands taking the belt away and putting it back into the drawer. He started to work on his trousers and she needed to swallow, clearing her throat. He stopped what he was doing and looked at her. She knew she looked rather alarmed.

"I won't waive _my _king size bed." He stated matter-of-factly after seeing her expression. She'd thought with mine is yours he meant that he'll give her his bed for the time being not that he'd plan to share it with her at the same time.

"I thought it was _mine _as well." She voiced against better judgment, already cursing mentally for saying such stupid things. It lightened his mood, she noticed.

"Exactly." He said, his lips slightly moving upwards, she knew that he'd purposely emphasized it like that, he knew she'll jump in. She had just trapped herself.

He was standing half naked in front of her and she felt herself getting flustered. She wasn't used to almost naked men around her. When she heard the zipper of his trousers, she felt her throat get dryer and she sincerely hoped that he wasn't going to sleep naked. To her relief he was wearing boxer shorts and didn't intend to take them off as well.

He turned towards her and caught her watching him. He looked complacent and she decided to look away. She lay down and turned her back towards him, the bed adding weight and shifting slightly when he climbed on it next to her.

She just wanted to sleep and pretend that he wasn't this close to her. But then she felt him move nearer to her though and heard his breath against her ear.

She knew that it would have been the perfect time to tell him that she wanted another room, another bed but the thrill it gave her to have him this close prevented her from saying anything. She was right, she was not thinking straight anymore.

She felt one of his hands putting her hair back so her neck was in full view to him. Mere seconds later his lips were on her neck and she closed her eyes shut. He was suckling lightly while one of his hands went around her waist and rested on her abdomen. He turned her slightly so her back was against the mattress, not breaking his kisses.

She didn't move just felt his tender kisses on her skin and lost the ability to speak. She saw him move, removing the bedcover and before she knew it he'd placed himself between her legs, looking down at her.

"What are you doing?" She asked her voice only a thin whiff, barely existing.

"Nothing." He answered lowly, shaking his head just the tiniest bit. He touched her legs then, stroking them gently and moving upwards to her thighs doing the same again while their gazes were still locked. She just stared at him, quite taken by his ministrations; she couldn't utter any other words anymore.

His hands moved higher and pulled her closer to him, leaning down and kissing her neck tenderly.

Again.

She just closed her eyes, letting the feeling overtake any of her other senses.

"Chuck…" She whispered, somehow trying to say something but she knew that it sounded more like an appreciative moan. He started kissing her neck a little rougher and his hands were still on her thighs, caressing them softly.

The nightgown had ridden up a little bit, the hem resting against her waist. Her eyes were still closed when she felt one of his hands leaving its place from her thigh. He stopped kissing her and looked at her, breathing heavily.

Their eyes were at the same level then, his hand pushing her hair away from her face gently before leaning in and brushing his lips against hers. She didn't fight him, not even when he deepened the kiss, or when he pushed her mouth open with his tongue. If anything she pulled him closer, her arms going around his neck drawing him down to her. She kissed him back eagerly, her tongue thrusting into his mouth finding his. She did not think of anything except for the pleasure she was feeling. There was nothing she could blame it on this time, this was all her who had her arms around him, pulling him down and wanting more.

But then she felt his hand wander to places no one's hands have ever been before and she realized where this was heading. She snapped back into reality and could think straight again. She sucked in a breath, opening her eyes instantly and before he could do or say anything she was pushing him off of her and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

She'd done it again.

When she finally met his gaze, she saw that he looked rather startled but she just took the bedcover and wrapped herself in it. She didn't know what was wrong with her these days. She turned around again, so her back was facing him, acting like she had not been a part of what had just transpired between them. She held her breath for a second when she didn't hear anything from him, no movement, no sound, nothing.

"You're afraid your boyfriend will find out?" His voice sounded rough and deep and she could feel his eyes watching her closely. For a second she was baffled, not knowing what he was talking about but then she remembered. She had forgotten about her made up boyfriend. Her head was racing to search for an answer, one that would shut him up.

"We won't do anything, so I'm not afraid." She responded lamely, trying to keep herself under control though. Her breath was still coming out uneven and rather frantic.

"We already did quite a lot, don't you think?" He said huskily and she turned around to face him, sitting on the bed just like him.

"We did exactly nothing." She let out, narrowing her eyes at him. He chuckled lowly and moved towards her and her breath caught in her throat.

"Oh, we did." He smirked, leaning in closer that she thought he might kiss her again but this time she shoved him away hard.

"I don't think _my beau _would approve." She said, challenging him with her gaze. She saw his expression change and for her it felt like a small victory. His face fell but he managed to cover it quickly.

"You know that you're never going to see him again." He told her, his jaw clenching.

"We'll see about that." She countered, looking him straight in the eyes. She saw that he had no retort but waited nonetheless.

"Did you sleep with him?" He asked all of a sudden and the abrupt change to that unexpected subject threw her for a loop.

"I - What?" She asked, not sure she'd heard right.

"Did you fuck him or didn't you? It's simple, really. Yes or no? " He hissed, this time his voice grew a little louder. She couldn't believe he was really doing this.

"Well, I'm sure you fucked a hell of a lot of sluts, didn't you?" She said avoiding his question, though not missing a beat, never before had she spoken this way. It felt weird to speak so bold but he didn't give her any other option. She saw that she had surprised him, too.

"That's totally different." He defended himself and she got fed up and stood up from the bed.

"How's that any different?" She asked, her voice matching his one which was crammed with accusations.

"Because it just is." He answered, his gaze not wavering from hers.

"Why? Because I'm a woman?" She asked, trying to keep her anger down.

"No, because you're not like that." He added and her eyes narrowed.

"You don't know how I am." She dissented, laughing humorless and shaking her head.

"I _know _that you're not like that." He stated firmly.

"No, you don't know _anything _about me! So stop saying that, okay?" She yelled, wagging a finger at him. He was looking at her, his hands clenching the cover of the bed.

"That's where you're wrong." His voice was raw and sturdy. "I know more about you than you give me credit for." He concluded, letting go of the cover. She just crossed her arms and pursed her lips, waiting for him to start saying one thing that he knew about her. It seemed that he immediately understood what she wanted him to do for a smirk formed on his lips before he started.

"You're Blair Cornelia Bass former Waldorf, a quite beautiful 20 year old woman." He started, smirking again and she rolled her eyes but she felt the heat make its way to her cheeks anyway which surely would redden any second.

"Your father left from New York when you were nine and died two years later. You were homeschooled and when you were twelve years old you dated Nathaniel Archibald for about a year and ever since you hadn't had a boyfriend. He's still your friend though. You didn't go out much and if you did you always returned home quite early. You're pretty intelligent and you applied at every Ivy League University just to see if any of those Colleges would accept you although you knew that your mother was strictly against it since she wanted you to work for her company as a designer which you ended up doing. And you did it, despite the fact that every single one of those terrific Colleges accepted you. You turned all of them down because of your mother; she always tried to look out for you, always trying to protect you." While he spoke he hadn't looked away from her, his eyes boring through hers.

Her eyes, on the other hand, were wide and her mouth slightly agape. She did not know where he got all of this information.

"And not to forget", he added, his smirk still very present on his lips. "You left to France after our wedding day and you were with Carter Baizen the whole time." He ended his listing there purposely, she knew. He seemed to watch her reaction strongly and she was sure that she got a little paler hearing his name coming out of his mouth.

"The infamous Carter Baizen, who has left his father's company behind to accomplish something on his own and how I know Carter, he's failing at it miserably." He badmouthed him and she compressed her lips.

"I always knew he was a failure to begin with and so did his daddy." He went on and she couldn't hold herself back any longer.

"Don't talk about him like that." She warned him furiously and he looked at her quite amused. "He's more of a man than you'll ever be." She defended him.

"So, you slept with him then?" He demanded an answer and she saw that he had already drawn his own conclusions.

"Why would you think that?" She asked him back, her voice and body rather rigid.

"You know, I had two guesses, either Carter Baizen or Damien Dalgaard." He threw in nonchalantly, his eyes burning through hers though.

"But then again, I did believe that my driver wouldn't have had the guts to molest my wife, but I haven't seen him since the day you left. I actually assumed that you two have eloped since I only found my limo without the driver parked just some streets away, but seeing you get all worked up at the mention of Carter though, well, that's conspicuous." He said, still watching her, clearly waiting for her to speak but she refused to say anything.

"So that leaves us only Carter." He stated the obvious when she didn't reply anything. "You know, you could have told me you're going to visit him, I at least would have sent my greetings." He said jokingly, though his face appeared hard as stone and did not show any hint of humor. She just crossed her arms in front of her chest; feeling like this conversation has gone into a horrible direction.

"So, am I right?" He asked and seeing him look at her like that, looking at her like he'd figured it all out, made something in her burst.

"Yes, you're right. I slept with him." She lied, forcing the words out of her mouth. She saw his façade slip for a second again. His throat moved while she saw him swallowing slowly but his look stayed the same, hard and stern.

"So what are you going to do about it?" She asked brusquely, she wasn't sure what reply to expect. She told herself that she hoped that he'll tell her that he'll file for divorce but there was another sudden feeling, an unsettling one. There was a part of her that was terrified that he'd say exactly that.

"I don't think I have to do anything about it. It's obviously over, so there's nothing to worry about." He uttered calmly.

"And now we should just go back to sleep." He already turned around, his back facing her and she couldn't believe how fast he'd dropped it. She stayed on the same spot not moving for a while and just looked at his back. She didn't know what to make out of this fight but she just reluctantly climbed into the bed again, she just needed to sleep.

**A/N:** You'll find out more about Carter and Damien in the next chapter. Any thoughts? Please share :)


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **I finally found some time and inspiration to continue this story and I am so very sorry for not updating for such a long time. I will try to finish this story but I do not know how long this will take me, I just hope that all of you who read this story, will bear with me.

This chapter is dedicated to you, Sab since you were so delighted to hear that there was going to be an update soon. :) You and your joy made me update faster. :D

**Six months prior – Wedding Day**

The wedding dress as white as freshly fallen snow was encircling her petite frame, accentuating every single one of her delicate curves and making her look more feminine than she had ever looked before. Her shapely and slender neck was adorned with a string of pearls; her hair, dark auburn, was lightly pinned-up to one side, letting the coiffed curls freely cascade down while her dark hair, big brown doe-eyes and painted red lips were put in striking contrast to her glowing pale skin.

Her eyes were still gazing at the mirror reflection and wondering again and yet again if it was really her, who was staring right back.

"You look beautiful, dear." She heard a voice saying and turned around to see that it was her mother who was looking at her with glazing eyes, trying hard to suppress the tears whilst seeing her daughter clothed in her wedding dress.

Blair smiled, appreciating her mother's kind words.

"Thank you, mum." She said with a low voice, still not quite believing that this was it. She was going to get married today.

And what made it so much more incredible was that it was just as she had always imagined her wedding to be. It all seemed so perfect and right to her.

"Come on, dear." Her mother let out with a quivering voice, sniffling as imperceptible as possible. Blair smiled at her mum before she got up, checking herself in the mirror once more and readying herself to walk down the aisle towards her patiently waiting fiancé.

She took a deep breath, feeling as if she lacked oxygen, closing her eyes, when suddenly she heard the music play and the door in front of her opened. Her eyes fluttered open and she started walking with graceful and slow steps whilst all the guests were seemingly enchanted by her entrance. It was evident by the looks on their faces; some smiling, some touched, some in tears. The veil was masking her animated face and she had the chance to glance at all of their guests inconspicuously. Her eyes landed on Chuck at last. He was standing quite erect at the end of the aisle dressed in a black tuxedo with his gaze fixed on her and the way he was looking at her made her stomach stir involuntarily, though in a pleasant way. His look was so intense, his mouth slightly agape, his caramel brown eyes with a light touch to them due to the sun shining into the vast windows and the tiniest bit wider than normally. A smile curved onto her lips, a sudden feel of elation overflew her and she felt herself blushing, however being glad that the veil was covering it from everyone. She reached him, standing vis-à-vis from him. His gaze changed then, from barely hidden amazement into deep admiration with a smile that made his eyes gleam just a little stronger.

He surprisingly leaned in then, irritating her for a second since she had no idea what he was intending to do. Her breath halted and she pressed her lips calmly together, waiting. His lips moved to her ear ever so slowly and he whispered.

"You look very beautiful." The blood rushed to her cheeks and she could not look him in the eye when he moved back again. The words however, made her relax and cheerful all the more.

The whole ceremony was everything she had ever wished for. After they finally said their vows they sealed their promises with a kiss which was short but tender and sweet. Everything seemed all too perfect, leaving her beaming, with a genuine happy smile on her face.

At the reception they were naturally seated next to each other while getting up now and then to make polite conversation with their guests.

After a while Chuck excused himself telling her he needed to leave for just a second and Blair still held up with the conversations until Nathaniel approached her.

Her bright face brought a smile to his face.

"You're happy?" He asked earnestly, looking at her intently and hoping with all his heart that she really was and that her exterior wasn't her usual façade where she liked to hide her true feelings. Inwardly he knew however, that her behavior seemed too genuine not to be her true self but he needed her to voice it.

"I am." She answered truthfully with shining eyes.

"Well then, Congratulations." He said letting out a hearty laugh and taking her in his arms, hugging her tightly.

She couldn't help but laugh along, hugging him back just as firmly.

Over his shoulders she saw her mother looking at the exchange somewhat displeased but she did not think much of it.

He let her go softly; kissing her cheek tenderly while doing so and she patted his one attentively in return while both were still very much smiling at each other.

After Nate left her side her mother came her way.

"You shouldn't show so much affection towards Nathaniel on your wedding day." Her mother's words shocked her, because her mother knew very well that she and Nate had always been close.

"Mother, he is my best friend." She stressed the words very affronted.

"I know he is, dear", her mother's voice softened. "But others do not and they might get the wrong impression. I do know that he has a special place in your heart but it is not appropriate to parade it in front of all these people, especially today, don't you think?" Her mother said very rhetorically, and Blair wondered for a brief moment how the exchange between her and Nate must have looked to others, to others who did not know them.

She honestly couldn't imagine that someone saw anything else in their behavior than two friends of many years. Yet she still understood what her mother meant. There were guests present that she had barely ever seen or that she just knew very briefly or not at all, so it probably wasn't the right place to so openly show the easiness and closeness she had with Nate when she yet had to have it with Chuck.

Blair could also guess where the restlessness from her mother came from. Blair had heard about the rumors, which she was sure her mother was aware of too but simply liked to block out, pretend that everything was still faultless – a way of seeing things, a cursing or a blessing, which Blair was featured with just the same.

There were a handful of people who were already questioning the wedding, saying that it was impossible that Eleanor Waldorf would allow her only and in society highly praised daughter to marry Chuck Bass, that there must have been a special arrangement for a reason unknown to them. While it was true that the reasons behind their marriage weren't as pure as it seemed, Blair too knew that the people who were so viciously gossiping about the marriage, the biggest event of the year, were doing it in spite of her.

Chuck Bass might have been a very irrepressible character and the very opposite of a talkative person in society but at the same time he was one of the most successful business people there were and every single mother who had an unmarried girl, was at some point hoping that if Chuck Bass ever settled down it would be with their daughter. They would never openly admit it but while outwardly they despised him with every fiber of their being, they loved his legacy too much to let his personality get in the way of such an opportunity, the opportunity for their daughters to have a part of that legacy.

"I truly hope we did the right thing." Blair heard her mother speak while her eyes were focused on Blair. "Do you regret it?" Eleanor asked her and Blair didn't need a second to think about it.

"No, I don't." She answered; a silent but very strong smile present on her lips. She did not and it should have been apparent to everyone who saw her that she felt happy. She wanted this and while it had been more of a business arrangement to her mother and to Chuck, she somewhat sensed that Chuck was in some way delighted with her and he sometimes even seemed infatuated by her. It was just sometimes when he looked at her when he thought she wasn't paying attention, that she had no misgivings that it was not just a meaningless marriage to him.

Her mother however had been the one who had indirectly wanted this to happen. Her clothes line hadn't been going well for quite some time and she needed a support and since her mother had known Bart Bass very well, which Chuck was conscious of, she consulted him. Blair was not quite sure how they brought up her in the conversation, if it was her mother or Chuck who came up with the idea but when she remembered how terribly plagued her mother had looked when she had asked Blair if she would ever consider a marriage with Chuck Bass, she couldn't even just for a second think that her mother came up with it. Her mother had never pushed her, or expected her to agree but Blair did nonetheless.

"I do like him, mum." Blair said softly.

"The feeling is certainly mutual, my dear." Her mother smiled, the relief washing over her face, making her way back to her table where she engaged in a conversation with some elderly women, not seeming so restless anymore.

Just as her mother left a photographer made its way towards her and asked politely if he could take a picture of the newlywed couple and Blair nodded her head, smiling vibrantly. She then realized that Chuck had been gone for quite some time, so she excused herself to go and look where her groom had left.

Still with that smile that had been gracing her lips for the entire day, she went to look for him. She first searched him among the crowd of people that were in the room but when she noticed that he wasn't there she started looking for him in every room there was. She had thought that he had left to the restroom or that some of their guests were making conversation with him and impeding his return to their table but it seemed as if that was not the case. He was nowhere to be seen, as if he had vanished into thin air. She gave up the search and decided to go back, thinking that he might have returned to their table when suddenly voices stopped her, voices that were coming from the balcony in the room which she had just checked.

It was his voice without a doubt. Glad that she had finally found him, she took the front of her wedding dress in her hands to speed up and walked towards the voices. The moment she saw him, the smile that she was so sure would stay on her lips for the whole day dropped from her face instantly, taking the happiness with it. Her heart suddenly didn't feel at the right place anymore, and it ached, as if someone was squeezing it too tightly, trying to rip it out of her chest.

She found him but he wasn't in need of company. A tall, long haired woman was standing exaggeratedly close to him while baring her pearly white teeth and gazing at him in a way that was crushing her insides. She couldn't shake this feeling, a feeling that was telling her that she was intruding a very intimate moment.

"You're amazing you know that?" She heard her say, giggling and leaning into Chuck, stroking the lapels of his tux. Blair gulped thickly seeing her husband of some hours lean in and kissing that woman, kissing her in a way that he had never kissed her. Her view became blurry as she felt tears fill her eyes. She felt physically and emotionally pained.

She turned around instantly, leaving the room and running down the hall; her eyes brimming with hot tears and her head spinning.

She ran fast, faster than she had ever had to run before, the pins in her hair loosening their grip, leaving her hair not as perfect as they had been before. Her tears rolling down her cheeks leaving black trails down her face, ruining the make-up that had looked so flawless before.

The perfection of this day, the perfection of all of it was vanishing and was showing its real face. All of a sudden it all felt so superficial; it could be scratched away so very easily, showing its ugliness underneath it.

She felt agony, she felt pain. She suddenly felt everything one shouldn't feel on their wedding day.

She reached the restroom, locking herself in one of the toilet stalls. Her hands were trembling, her heart thumping loudly and her sobs were so very heartfelt that she had to muffle them with her hands.

She had pictured her wedding day so many times in her head, but never had she thought that it would turn out like this. She felt so very asinine and naïve for thinking for even a second that Chuck Bass did like her in any way. She felt embarrassed that she even thought that she had seen him look infatuated by her; she shook her head at her stupid and silly thought. She had agreed to marry him but just because she had truly thought that it was more to him than just business, she had gotten that impression when they first met, when she had told her mother that she would consider it if she could get to know him better. He had seemed so very mesmerized and fascinated by her, that it left no room for her to doubt his intentions although he had never really voiced it, just hinted at it subtly. But now when she looked back, she could vaguely remember their first rendezvous or what he had ever said in the past; and suddenly his look didn't seem mesmerized anymore but rather amused in her head. In her head she abruptly pictured him as this vile and heartless person.

She exhaled slowly, knowing full well that she couldn't tell her mother. She would either not understand the fuss or she would feel entirely remorseful and would blame herself for it. Either way, it would end badly for Blair. She couldn't tell anyone after she had looked so joyful, telling everyone how euphorically she felt. For a moment she thought of Nate and if she could let him in on this situation but she decided against it, she couldn't although he was her best friend. She just felt so ashamed and she didn't think that anyone would understand.

If she told anyone they would know that it was just a factitious marriage and their thoughts would be confirmed and she would never allow that to happen since for her it had never been such a thing.

"But for him it was." She thought and felt again the tearing pain inside of her. She knew if she wouldn't do anything, she would have to live with a man who thought as little of her as to kiss another woman on their wedding day.

She stood up then, knowing that the only way to not deal with it was to leave. She walked out of the stall and looked at herself in the mirror, still panting slightly.

There was nothing left from that girl who had looked in the mirror just some hours before. Her reflection was staring back at her, sadly and broken and it made her cry even harder. She calmed herself quickly though, inhaling deeply and taking tissues to wipe her face clean of her tears. She then looked at her hair and tried to fix them, trying to look just the same as before. She succeeded, except that her eyes didn't shine like before.

She inhaled slowly for the second time, suppressing the need to cry again. She walked out of the restroom and headed towards their table.

When she reached the table, she immediately took her purse, trying hard not to look at anyone, still trying to look as happy as before.

She saw her mother approaching her and Blair knew that she must have suspected something. She didn't want to upset her mother, so she tried hard not to burst out in tears again and fall into her mother's arms for comfort. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't tell her, it would ruin everything.

"Blair, is everything alright with you? You seem angered." Her mother asked and scrutinized her slowly."Have you been crying?" She added, looking worriedly at her.

Blair plated a perfect smile on her face, shaking her head. "No, mother, I'm alright. Everything's alright. I'm just happy that is all." She lied convincingly, she'd always been good at making people believe her every word even her mother. But this time Blair could see that her mother still had a wary look on her face.

"Now, I really need to go to the bathroom." Blair excused herself shortly with a lie and walked away, clutching her purse in her hand. She didn't have a plan; she didn't think further than that she didn't want to deal with this mess and she wanted to propel herself out of this unfortunate situation. She made her way to the front exit without anyone noticing it.

When she reached the front garden she looked around, somewhat hoping that she would get a sign that what she was about to do was the right decision. Her eyes halted on the black limo and she spotted Damien Dalgaard still sitting in the driver seat, being entirely absorbed in a conversation on the phone. She sighed relieved, seeing it as a sign and ran towards him.

He was still very much arguing with the one on the other end of the phone when Blair opened the door of the front passenger seat and climbed in to sit next to him. She saw his flabbergasted look as he recognized her and he did not even reply to the person on the phone who seemed to be shouting since even Blair could hear him.

"Drive." Blair commanded curtly, being absolutely horrified with herself inwardly, but displaying a woman quite in control yet forgetting her reputable manners.

He ended the call immediately without a goodbye, his hands being clumsy and nervous.

"Mrs. Bass, what –", He tried to ask but she didn't let him finish his sentence since she felt so nervous herself and just wanted to leave this place.

"I said drive." Blair shot back, her whole posture so stiff and her gaze so vacant. She knew that she looked like she's left her senses but she needed to get away, immediately.

"Does Mr. Bass know –", Damien tried, but she didn't let him a chance to question her.

Again.

"What do you not understand? I said drive!" She yelled, losing her temper, her voice rough and loud, her eyes getting watery again, afraid that he might refuse to drive and she'd be lost once again.

"Okay." He obeyed, completely intimidated by the bride next to him and without another word started the engine.

Blair closed her eyes, trying to suppress the tears. After she felt the tears receding, she opened them again and saw how the house was not in sight anymore. She felt as if a big burden has left her shoulders for that very moment.

"And don't ever call me Mrs. Bass again." She added with a huff after a while and receiving an almost non-existent nod from Damien.

After more than one long hour in the car, she ended up at the airport already forging a plan, but not yet putting the plan into action. She first had to take care of her husband's driver.  
"You won't tell Mr. Bass anything about this. If he asks where you were you'll lie to him. You have not seen me." She looked at him, her eyes glimmering with fury and he did nothing else than swallow hard. She knew that her anger was misdirected, that he had done nothing wrong, but right at that moment she needed to act out and she did feel horrible that he was on the receiving end.

"Are we clear?" She asked, her gaze hard as steel.

"Crystal, Ma'am." He answered anxiously.

"Good." She said, relaxing somewhat and turning back into that woman that she knew herself to be.

"Thank you for the ride." She thanked him, smiling a little too faintly and closed the door.

Inside the airport she talked to the woman at the check in desk for over half an hour, it seemed. While talking she was so very fearful that the driver would tell them where they could find her and she had no doubt that her mother would instantly come and pick her up. Fortunately, there was a free seat in the airplane to France and she felt so much better after hearing it, finally being able to calm down.

When she sat down on her seat, she relived every single moment again, not believing that all of it had truly happened. She made a promise to herself that whenever she decided to return, she would apologize to Damien Dalgaard for it had not been his fault whatsoever, he had just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The whole situation had gotten the best out of her and anything that she had once felt for Chuck turned into loathing; she blamed him for everything that had happened on that day.

There were still people entering the plane when she called the only person she knew would be able to help her, dialing his number with slightly shaking hands. It rang quite a few times before she heard his voice, firm and strong.

"Hello?"

"Carter, I need your help."

**A/N: **Hope you enjoyed it.


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